hello dreamwidth!

I decided to create a journal here! It's been a long time since I've used an online journal but I was an avid user of LiveJournal, DeadJournal, Ujournal... Any more journals I forgot about from the earlier 2000's? Heh. Anyhow, if you're seeing this entry, hello.

If I add you randomly and you're like, who's this punk? I'm a random person who decided to try and engage with this website! I don't think I know anyone here, so I've been adding people who seem active and might possibly post about things I'd like to read. I kinda like reading mundane journals, weirdly. Just folks talking about their daily life, maybe the music, art, or projects they're working on. I do apologize if it's uncouth to be adding random folks, feel free to not reciprocate of course.

I dunno what the main content of this journal will be. Me complaining about my problems? Random thoughts? Pictures? Sharing creative stuff? I dunno! We'll see!

If you stumbled upon me at random feel free to add. I'm pretty open in general. I'll probably add you back.

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Given my username I feel like I should include some photos of my dog! Her name is Taro, she's about 4 years old, and she's mostly beagle and border collie. Here she is loving some recent snow! Cut because the photos are kinda big.
( Pictures... )

Taro's a dang angel. She's the best dog anyone could ask for!

So, today... besides work...

I created this journal! Added a couple backdated entries since I keep an extensive journal locally. Using an online journal seems like a good way to organize and maybe even interact with a few cool people along the way, though! I need to do that, more. It's hard, though. I'm an artist by trade and I work alone all day, more or less. I love my job but one of the downsides is the relative isolation. It can get to me sometimes and I'm not great at voluntarily pushing myself to socialize. I have a housemate that I'm actually friends with so that helps to keep me from becoming a complete hermit but I definitely need to put in some effort of my own to get out and meet people.

I've been back in my hometown for about a year after spending over a decade on the road. I'm glad I'm back, but without some pavement moving under my wheels I sometimes wonder what I'm doing. Am I making progress? What is progress? What do I even want in life?

A few important relationships kinda shit the bed in the past year or two as well. This left me feeling like I lost not only the person but the people/communities I knew through them. It's got me feeling like i have no choice but to start completely over. I don't really know how, though. Being 40 is kind of strange like that. Everyone's got their life, partners, kids, friends. If you haven't figured that out by now, well, good luck buddy.

It's not like I'm totally alone in the world, but I've definitely lost out on some important connections and there is a void left that I don't know how to fill. Some of that was my fault, a lot of it wasn't. I sure know how to pick em, I guess. I still have some hope, though. It's not all bad by any means.

Probably should go to some kind of group event. They have oldtime and irish music jams in this town a few times a month. I know I'd enjoy those. I already know several tunes and I love the music. Meeting people who play would be a sure win. It's kind of a hike to get to them, though, and my van is a rattling, old, gas guzzling behemoth. Yeah, I should probably start thinking about getting a new car. It's real hard to let go of my van, though. I'd lived in it since 2016. I could keep it and get a second car... This is all kind of an overwhelming prospect, though, and I'm sure I'll push it until my hand is forced by circumstances somehow. New car payments aren't going be a thing so I'll end up with another jalopy that needs my constant attention, haha. I guess it might be worth it if it has heat/AC and better gas mileage!

Anyhow. There's some rambling. I feel like it's kind of an introduction, in a way.